My mother used to warn, “‘It’s not what you said; it’s how you said it!” My wife echoes the admonition to this day. (I remain a student of communication.)
Ironically, I understand how my mother and wife feel. People have spoken to me with a boombox bass or an about-to-throw-a-piston-rod treble, their volume pushing woofers to the max. On those occasions, I have metaphorically poked a finger in each ear and chanted, “La, la, la, la, la, la, la . . . I can’t hear you!” Their words became meaningless.
My reaction was natural. Recall from my last blog entry that when expressing emotions and/or attitudes in a face-to-face conversation, the message received is 38% tone of voice (well eclipsing the 7% words). An inappropriate tone can sap all persuasion the speaker may otherwise have had.
As Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “We often refuse to accept an idea merely because the tone of voice in which it has been expressed is unsympathetic to us.” The typical results: no sale, damaged relationships, even burned bridges.
The Lesson: Effective communication precludes our speaking as though a tone-deaf dimwit is manning our internal soundboard. We must properly EQ our voices and set the gain at a pleasant level. Otherwise, those whom we are addressing will simply reach down and push the “mute” button.
© 2012 Russ Riddle. All rights reserved.
