The words were carefully chosen. You spoke them warmly. Yet your colleague misinterpreted the message. Why? Check the pulse of your communication . . . It may be a cadaver.
In a prior post, we discussed Dr. Albert Mehrabian‘s findings that in face-to-face conversation the emotional or attitudinal message perceived is 7% words, 38% tone of voice and 55% body language. Obviously, our body language is the dominant message “heard” by others, meaning our bodies can bring communication to life . . . or sap all life from it.
Body language consists of five nonverbal categories:
Appearance (a/k/a “Get-ups, Grooming and Get-alongs”) – Communication begins the moment you enter a room. Are you dressed appropriately for the occasion and setting? Are you well groomed? How do you carry yourself?
Posture (“Hmm . . . So Mom was right after all.” [Good posture matters!]) – Is your chin up and are your shoulders back? Are you sitting erect or are you slouching? Do you have the proverbial “happy feet,” which distract others?
Gestures (Hand them meaning & mission.) – Are you afflicted with “busy hands,” which perpetually move without meaning or do you keep them comfortably at your sides except when intentionally using them to further your message? Are your purposeful gestures too diminutive?
Facial Expressions (Think Jim Carrey, Will Ferrell & Silly Putty.) – Is your face that of a mannequin or do you “talk” with your eyebrows, smiles and countenance?
Eye Contact (Shake eyes & make friends!) – Do you connect with others by locking eyes with them for an appropriate amount of time? Are you looking past them? Are you glancing at your watch while meeting with them?
This may seem like a lot to consider, and we will elaborate on each skill in future posts. But for now, suffice it say that effective body language boils down to four words: BEING IN THE MOMENT.
At that particular moment, nothing or anyone is more important than the person with whom you are conversing. Clear your mind of all else, focus and stay in the moment. Otherwise, your communication may die.
© 2012 Russ Riddle. All rights reserved.
